S03E11 - The Alternate Side
No: 28 | Season: 3 Episode: 11 | Air Date: 4-Dec-1991 | Production #310
Jerry's car is stolen and the criminal picks up his car phone. George decides to take a fill-in job moving cars from one side of the street to the other; this turns into a disaster for local traffic flow. Kramer gets a chance to do a line in a Woody Allen film; "these pretzels are making me thirsty." Elaine gets tired of her 66-year-old boyfriend and when she is about to break up with him, he has a stroke.
Director and Writers
Director: Tom Cherones
Writers: Larry David and Bill Masters
Jerry: I don't understand. Do you have my reservation?
Car Rental Assistant: We have your reservation, we just ran out of cars.
Jerry: But the reservation keeps the car here, that's why you have the reservation.
Car Rental Assistant: I think I know why we have reservations.
Jerry: I don't think you do. You see, you know how to TAKE the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation: the holding. Anybody can just take them.
Jerry: (Closing monologue) I think the best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best part of being sick is when you're in a relationship. And if I was to get married, you know all those vows; for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, all I need is the sickness. That, to me, is the most important one. Do you take this man in sickness? That's the only time I need somebody there. Rest of the time, go out, have a ball, do whatever you want, but if I get the sniffles, you better be there.
Jerry: (Opening monologue) Seems to me the way they design the car alarm is so that the car will behave as if it was a nervous hysterical person. Anyone goes near it, anyone disturbs it, it's aaaaaahhhhhhh! Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. Not everybody wants to draw that much attention to themselves, wouldn't it be nice if you could have a car alarm that was a little more subtle? You know, somebody tries to break in, it goes, Ahem. Ahem. Excuse me? I would like a car alarm like that.
Jerry: That's my car!
Car thief: I didn't know it was yours.
Jerry: What are you gonna do with it?
Car thief: I dunno, drive around.
Jerry: Then can I have it back?
Car thief: Hmmm, nah. I'm gonna keep it.
Elaine: Seven dates is a face-to-face break up?
Jerry: If it was six I could have let you go, but seven, I'm afraid, is over the limit. Unless, of course, there was no sex.
Elaine: Hmm... how's the pasta over there?
Notes and Trivia
Larry David came up with the Woody Allen storyline based on his actual experiences working with Allen.
According to Jerry Seinfeld, this is his least favorite episode of the series as the scenes involving Owen March made him uncomfortable.
Jerry Seinfeld credits the phrase, "These pretzels are making me thirsty," as the first of the show's many catch phrases. In fact, during the subsequent shows in his stand-up tour, audience members would yell out this line at nearly every performance.
When Jerry talks to the car thief on the phone, Larry David supplies the voice of the man who stole Jerry's car.
George wears a jersey with "Broadway Bound" on it in the first scene. In fact, Jason Alexander played Stanley in the original Broadway cast of Neil Simon's play 'Broadway Bound'.
The episode title refers to a parking regulation whereby parking is banned on one side of the street on a particular day to allow for its cleaning and on the other (or alternate) side on a different day.
When Kramer first enters Jerry's apartment, he leaves the door open. Miraculously, the door is closed a few moments later.
When Sid enters Jerry's apartment, he immediately starts talking and forgets to close the door. When the camera moves with Jerry to the refrigerator, the door is now closed.
|Jerry Seinfeld||Jerry Seinfeld|
|Julia Louis-Dreyfus||Elaine Benes|
|Jason Alexander||George Costanza|
|Janet Zarish||Rental Car Agent|
|Larry David||The Car Thief (voice) (uncredited)|