S03E15 - The Suicide
No: 32 | Season: 3 Episode: 15 | Air Date: 29-Jan-1992 | Production #312
The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since one-hour martinizing.
Elaine needs to fast before an x-ray, so she tries stuffing herself three days before the test. After his neighbor Martin tries suicide, Jerry is hit on by his girlfriend, Gina, while at the hospital. A psychic warns George to cancel his vacation to the Cayman Islands, but never can tell George why. Jerry becomes worried when Newman (a friend of Martins) sees him with Gina. Elaine starts hallucinating from hunger. Everything hinges on a Drake's coffee cake.
Director and Writers
Director: Tom Cherones
Writers: Tom Leopold
George: So how was it?
Kramer: George, I would like to thank you for the greatest four days I ever spent in my life. They were shooting the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue right in the hotel pool.
Jerry: Whoa. (hits George)
Kramer: Not only that but at the hotel they opened up this area on the beach for nude bathing and all of the Sports Illustrated models went down there.
Jerry: Wow! (hits George)
Kramer: I was on the next blanket from Elle McPherson
Jerry: Oh! hits George)
Kramer: We played Backgammon in the nude.
Jerry: Oh! (hits George)
Kramer: She's a sweet kid.
Jerry: Nude backgammon with swimsuit models! (hits George)
Kramer: Oh, you know what? The second day I was there I stepped on a jellyfish. Now it kind of stung my foot. That's probably what Rula was trying to warn you about.
George: Yeah, you gotta watch for the jellyfish.
Kramer: Did you hear about Martin?
Jerry: Yeah, I heard.
Kramer: I can't believe he's in a coma. He's got my vacuum cleaner. You know I loaned it to him. He never returned it. The carpets are filthy. What am I going to do?
Gina: Come on.
Jerry: In my pajamas? I better get my robe.
Gina: We don't have enough time.
Jerry: It'll take two seconds.
Gina: There is no time.
Jerry: We don't have two seconds?
Gina: All right. Go ahead.
Jerry: Nah, forget it.
Gina: No, go ahead.
Jerry: Nah. I'll just wear the pajamas.
Gina: Will you just get it.
Jerry: Are you sure?
Gina: Forget it. Come on.
Jerry: Nah, I'll go get the robe.
Jerry: Hey, do me a favour will ya? Throw out my garbage for me.
George: Yeah, right.
Jerry: Come on, it's just down the hall.
George: Give me two bucks. I'll do it for two bucks.
Jerry: I'll give you 50 cents.
George: There's no way I touch that bag for less than two dollars.
Gina: Come, you walk me to a cab.
Jerry: Well, uh, I uh, I don't want you to get upset or anything but uh, with Martin and all, well maybe it's not such a good idea for us to be seen together in the building, because, you know, he had a lot of friends here.
Gina: You're still afraid. You are not a man.
Jerry: Well then what are all those ties and sport jackets doing in my closet?
Jerry: The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try and commit suicide for some reason they don't die and that's it. They stop trying. Why? Why don't they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact it's worse because now they've found out one more thing you stink at. Okay, that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. Because they give up too easy. I saw, pills don't work, try a rope. Car won't start in the garage, get a tune up. You know what I mean? There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you have set for yourself.
Notes and Trivia
In this episode, Jerry states that George's parents are bald. Later in the series, we see that they really aren't bald.
This is the latter of two episodes where George Costanza mentions having a brother, although his brother is never seen, and never mentioned again.
Newman's first line in the series is, "I can't eat fruit. Fruit makes me incontinent." Of course we know that Newman's maintains an obsession with Mackinaw peaches in a later episode.
This episode marks the first time we see Jerry kiss a woman on screen.
This episode marks the first on-screen appearance of Newman, as played by Wayne Knight. It is also the first time Jerry utters the trademark greeting, "Hello, Newman."
Two versions of this episode were made: the Original Network version and the Revised Syndicated version. Both versions are included on the Season 3 DVD.
Jason Alexander's real mother makes a cameo in this episode sitting on a bench next to Elaine.
After Jerry leaves his garbage on Kramer's door and knocks, you can see the whole wall shake when he closes his apartment door.
|Jerry Seinfeld||Jerry Seinfeld|
|Julia Louis-Dreyfus||Elaine Benes|
|Jason Alexander||George Costanza|
|Peggy Lane||Nurse (as Peggy Lane O'Rourke)|
|Ruth Greenspan||Woman in Hallway (uncredited)|