S04E13 - The Pick

No: 53  |   Season: 4   Episode: 13  |   Air Date: 16-Dec-1992  |   Production #413

Oh my god! That
Oh my god! That's my nipple!

Summary

Elaine is humiliated when she accidentally shows a bit too much on her Christmas card photo, that she has sent out to everyone she knows. Jerry has a date with the model from the plane, she later dumps Jerry because of "The Pick." George tries to reunite with Susan, but realizes it's a mistake, and uses "The Pick". Kramer goes to Calvin Klein to complain about "The Ocean," a fragrance they stole from him, and is asked to pose for a risqu

Director and Writers

Director: Tom Cherones
Writers: Larry David

Quotes

Elaine: Not only didn't you love her, you didn't even like her.
George: Who says?
Elaine: You did.

Jerry: But I was clearly on the outer edge of the nostril.
Tia: I know what I saw. (Turns toward the elevators)
Jerry: But there, but there was no pick! I, I did not pick! There was no pick!
Tia: I gotta go. (she quickly walks away from Jerry)
Jerry: No! No pick!

Jerry: What? So what? It's a nipple. A little brown circular protuberance. What's the big deal? See everybody's got them. See I got them. (lifts up shirt)
Kramer: I got them too. (lifts up shirt also)
Jerry: See? Everybody's got them.

Jerry: Here. Take a look at this card. Tell me if you notice anything unusual about it.
Newman: Yeah, your nipple's showing.

Elaine: (shocked) That's my nipple. My nipple's exposed. I sent this card to hundreds of people! My parents. My boss. Ah, Nana and Papa.

George: What is with this damn zipper?

George: Was it a scratch or a pick?
Jerry: It was a pick!
George: Hey, it's me you're talking to! Was there any nostril penetration?
Jerry: (stutters) There may have been some accidental penetration!

Elaine: I don't know but... I think I see your...
(scene ends)

Kramer: THE BEACH!!! (enters the apartment) You smell like the beach. What's the name of that perfume you're wearing?
Tia: It's Ocean by CALVIN KLEIN.
Kramer: CALVIN KLEIN? No, no. That's my idea. They, they stole my idea. Y'see I had the idea of a cologne that makes you smell like you just came from the beach.
Jerry: I know look at this (shows an ad from CK)
Kramer: (shocked) Whooo! That's you! What is going on here? The gyp, he laughs at me then he steals my idea. I could have been a millionaire. I could have been a fragrance millionaire, Jerry. They're not going to get away with this. (leaves)

Kramer: What's the matter with you? I just wanted to see how tall she was.
Jerry: Oh, you're tall. She's tall I'm tall. What's the difference who's tall? We're all tall.

Elaine: Date with Fred.
Jerry: The religious guy???
Elaine: He's not THAT religious!
Jerry: Let us pray...

Elaine: Let me tell you, I didn't intentionally expose myself, but, now, I wish I had. For it is not me, but you who have been exposed, for I have seen the nipple on your soul!

George: So we go to her apartment and she goes to the bathroom. I'm cursing myself, "now how do I get out of here?" Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick!

Jerry: Let me ask you something. If you were going out with somebody and if she did that what would, would you do? Would you continue going out with her?
George: No. That's disgusting!

Jerry: Is that so unforgivable? Is that like breaking a commandment? Did God say to Moses thou shalt not pick?

Elaine: So, what's that?
Kramer: (not noticing) That's a nipple.
Elaine: Right!!
Kramer: (notices it) Ooo!
Elaine: Aw, great!? Didn't you see that?
Kramer: Aw, no, no I didn't notice it. No.

Jerry: Volunteer work... See, that's what I love about the holiday season. That's the true spirit of Christmas. People being helped by people other than me. That makes me feel good inside.

Co-worker: (Pokes his head into the doorway) Hey, Nip, you need that manuscript or can I take it home?
Elaine: Yeah, take it! Take it! And stop calling me "Nip"!

Jerry: Did you look at look at this picture carefully?
Elaine: Carefully?
Jerry: Because I'm not sure and ... and ... and correct me if I'm wrong but I think I see a nipple.

Jerry: So, I'm thinking of putting in a tropical fish tank right here.
Tia: Are you sure you're ready for that kind of commitment?
Jerry: Well, I figure if it doesn't work out I can always flush them down the toilet.
Tia: That's horrible!

Jerry: I am not an animal!

George: Is this Elaine? (picks up the card)
Dana: Yeah.
George: Huh! (makes an unusual look to the card)

Jerry: Are we not human?! If we pick, do we not bleed?!

George: (singing) Oh hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl who walked out on me. Tell her I'm sorry. Tell her I need my baby, oh, won't you tell her. I love her. Oh, hey...
Jerry: George I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

George: Hey! How come I didn't get a Christmas card? Everybody else got one. Jerry got one, Kramer got one. I thought we were good friends. I don't get a Christmas card. I don't get it.
Elaine: You want a Christmas card? You want a Christmas card? All right here. (rubs George's head on her breasts) Here's your Christmas card.

George: She made a big breakfast every Sunday. I don't know what she put in those eggs.

George: Two weeks ago I tried a soft boiled egg. Never liked it before. Now I'm dunking a piece of toast in there and I'm loving it.
Susan: I'm not a soft boiled egg.
George: And I am not a piece of toast.

Kramer: I just wanted to borrow your "Dust Buster."

CK Representative: His buttocks are sublime.

Notes and Trivia

Jerry and Newman don't say "Hello" as they usually do.

When Jerry says, "If we pick, do we not bleed? I am not an animal!" he is making references to Shylock in "The Merchant of Venice" ("If you prick us, do we not bleed?") and "The Elephant Man" ("I am not an animal! I am a human being!")

Goofs

When Kramer is in the Calvin Klein meeting room in his jockeys and he slides down the wall, he leaves a giant smear of body makeup on the wall.

Cast

Jerry SeinfeldJerry Seinfeld
Julia Louis-DreyfusElaine Benes
Michael RichardsKramer
Jason AlexanderGeorge Costanza
Heidi SwedbergSusan Ross
Wayne KnightNewman
Jennifer CampbellTia
Gina HechtDana Foley
Nicholas HormannCalvin
Tony CarlinFred
FranMale Executive (as Francois Giroday)
Blaire BaronFemale Executive
Steve ShubertMan in Office (as Steve Schubert)
Ruth CohenRuthie Cohen
Larry DavidOffice Worker (voice) (uncredited)
Towanna KingWaitress (uncredited)