S04E03 - The Pitch

No: 43  |   Season: 4   Episode: 3  |   Air Date: 16-Sep-1992  |   Production #403

Artistic integrity? Where? Where did you come up with that?! YouArtistic integrity? Where? Where did you come up with that?! You're not artistic and you have no integrity.


NBC executives ask Jerry to come up with an idea for a TV series. George decides he can be a sitcom writer and comes up with "nothing." Kramer trades a radar detector for a helmet, later Newman gets a speeding ticket. While waiting to meet the NBC executives, George and Jerry meet Joe Davola, a writer and "a total nut" who goes to the same shrink as Elaine. Jerry searching for conversation, mentions Kramer's party, whereto Joe wasn't invited. While discussing the disaster of the meeting with NBC, George focuses on starting a relationship with the female NBC executive. Kramer shows his approval by throwing up on her. The helmet saves Kramer from an attack by "Crazy" Joe Davola. While all this is going on Elaine is in Europe with her shrink.

Director and Writers

Director: Tom Cherones
Writers: Larry David


Kramer: We had a deal! There's no guarantees in life!
Newman: No, but there's karma, Kramer!
Jerry: Karma-Kramer?

Joe Davola: You're under no obligation to shake my hand.

Telemarketer: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance service.
Jerry: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later.
Telemarketer: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Jerry: Well now you know how I feel.

George: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Jerry: What do you need salsa for?
George: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Jerry: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have any salsa?" We need more salsa." "Where's the salsa? No salsa?"
George: You know, it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. "I wanted seltzer, not salsa!"
Jerry: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?! You have the seltzer after the salsa!"

Newman: I want my helmet back! You give me back my helmet, and you're gonna pay for that ticket!
Kramer: Oh, yeah, yeah. You better think again, Mojambo.

Jerry: You want to go with me to NBC?
George: Yeah, I think we really got something here.
Jerry: What do we got?
George: An idea.
Jerry: What idea?
George: An idea for the show.
Jerry: I still don't know what the idea is.
George: It's about nothing.
Jerry: Right.
George: Everybody's doing something, we'll do nothing.
Jerry: So, we go into NBC, we tell them we got an idea for a show about nothing?
George: Exactly.
Jerry: They say, "What's your show about?" I say, "Nothing."
George: There you go.
(A moment passes)
Jerry: (nodding) I think you may have something here.

George: I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: Nothing.

George: I can't do this Jerry. I can't do it. I tried, I'm here, it's impossible!

Jerry: This is a pretty bad deal for Kramer. You know a radar detector is worth much more than that helmet. I think you're cheating him.
Newman: Don't say anything.
Jerry: All right.
(Kramer enters the room)
Jerry: Hey, you know you're getting gypped over here.

George: Look, you do all the talking, OK?
Jerry: Relax! Who are they?
George: Yeah, they're not better than me.
Jerry: Of course not.
George: Who are they?
Jerry: They're nobody.
George: What about me?
Jerry: What about you?
George: Why them? Why not me?
Jerry: Why not you?
George: I'm as good as them.
Jerry: Better!
George: You really think so?
Jerry: No.

Russell: Well, why am I watching it?
George: Because it's on TV.
Russell: (pausing) Not yet.

George: I can't do this, I can't do this.
Jerry: What?
George: I can't do this, I can't do it. I've tried, I'm here, it's impossible.
Jerry: Hey, this was your idea.
George: What idea? I just said something. I didn't know you were gonna listen to me!
(He smacks Jerry's forehead)
Jerry: Don't worry about it. They're just TV executives.
George: They're men with jobs, Jerry! They wear suits and ties! They're married, they have secretaries!

Newman: (to Kramer) You gave me a defective detector! Jerry?
Jerry: Buyer beware.

Jerry: (to George) I don't even want to talk about it anymore. What were you thinking? What was going on in your mind? Artistic integrity. Where, where did you come up with that? You're not artistic and you have no integrity. You know, you really need some help, and a regular psychiatrist couldn't even help you. You need to go to, like, Vienna or something. You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the University level, like where Freud studied, and have all those people looking at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need. Not the once a week for eighty bucks, no. You need a team, a team of psychiatrists working around the clock, thinking about you, having conferences, observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant Man. That's what I'm talkin about, 'cause that's the only way you're gonna get better.

Notes and Trivia

This episode begins the season-long story arc about Jerry and George developing "a show about nothing" for NBC. This story is based on Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David's experiences in developing the "Seinfeld" series. Russell Dalrymple, played by Bob Balaban is based on Warren Littlefield. Jason Alexander once negatively referred to the NBC storyline as "self-aggrandized."

In this episode, one of the NBC execs says he really liked a bit by Jerry about a parakeet flying into a mirror. The episode "The Dog" closes with Jerry actually doing the parakeet bit over the credits.

The posters on the wall of the studio's reception area are all promotional posters for NBC series for the 1992/1993 season.

Just as Kramer at first objected to being a character in the show about "nothing", Larry David's neighbor, Kenny Kramer, originally objected to having a character named after him in the Seinfeld series.

This episode was originally broadcast as a one-hour special along with the following episode, "The Ticket."

This is Wayne Knight's favorite episode because he got the chance to see how Newman's mind worked.

When George and Jerry are in the coffee shop discussing the show about "nothing", their back and forth banter is reminiscent of Abbot and Costello's classic "Who's on First" routine.

When Jerry says "Give my best to Hinckley", this is a reference to John F. Hinckley, Jr. who attempted to assassinate President Ronald Reagan in an attempt to win the love and approval of actress Jodie Foster.


If you look closely after Kramer calls Newman "Mojambo", you can see Jerry laughing, then trying to get to keep a straight face.

When Jerry and George are in the waiting room before their first NBC meeting, we see in the large shot that Jerry has one leg propped up on his thigh but in the next medium shot his legs are both uncrossed.


Jerry SeinfeldJerry Seinfeld
Julia Louis-DreyfusElaine Benes
Michael RichardsCosmo Kramer
Jason AlexanderGeorge Costanza
Wayne KnightNewman
Bob BalabanRussell Dalrymple
Heidi SwedbergSusan Ross
Kevin PageStu Chermack
Peter Crombie'Crazy' Joe Davola
Len LesserUncle Leo
Steve EastinCop #1
David GrafCop #2
Al FannJudge (credit only)
Stephen McHattieDr. Reston - the Psychiatrist
Peter BloodJay Crespi
Julie ClaireReceptionist
Steve SkrovanTommy
Ron RossHomeless Man
Ruth CohenRuthie Cohen
Larry DavidOffstage Voice (voice) (uncredited)
Deck McKenzieTMI Long Distance Operator (voice) (uncredited)