S08E20 - The Millennium

No: 154  |   Season: 8   Episode: 20  |   Air Date: 1-May-1997  |   Production #820

Those arenThose aren't for New Year's. Those are my everyday balloons.


Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year's Eve party two years in advance and he has some strange ideas about what life in that year will be like. George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his position on the speed dial and then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning his own millennium party. George tries to make a big exit from the Yankees organization; however, all his attempts make him look better in the organization. The overprotective and overbearing mother of Jerry's girlfriend confronts him over his #1 position on the speed dial. Newman compromises with Kramer about their respective parties, they will be combined; however, he only has one condition, the next century must be "Jerry free." Elaine discovers the clothing store she began frequenting is owned by the same woman who didn't help her at the other store. Kramer reluctantly agrees but then has misgivings and gets Elaine to come back to his party. Elaine plans her revenge on the store with Kramer's help. Jerry gets caught in the middle of a speed dial war between his girlfriend and her step-mother.

Director and Writers

Director: Andy Ackerman
Writers: Jennifer Crittenden


Jerry: Good meeting?
George: There was no meeting. But it was quite a meeting.

Elaine: I've been dancing and strutting in front of their store for two days.
Jerry: Oh, no wonder we're getting so much rain.

Jerry: Kramer, these balloons aren't gonna stay filled until New Years!
Kramer: Those aren't for New Years...those are my everyday balloons.

George: I guess I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again.
Jerry: That's the spirit. You suck.
George: I know.

Mrs. Hamilton: It's taken me thirteen years to climb to climb up to the top of that speed dial and I don't intend to lose my spot to you.
Jerry: But I never--
Mrs. Hamilton: You just stay away from that phone.

George: You are looking at the next director of Mets scouting. Only thing is I have to get fired from the Yankees first.
Jerry: You can do that.
George: Of course, but I really want to leave my mark this time. You know, I want to walk away from the Yankees with people saying, 'Wow, now that guy got canned.'
Jerry: So you want to go out in a final blaze of incompetence.
George: Yeah, remember that summer at Dairy Queen where I cooled my feet in the soft serve machine?

George: Jerry. I can't get fired.

Kramer: Do you think people will still be using napkins in the year 2000, or is this mouth-vacuum thing for real?

Jerry: Hello?
Valerie: Who's this?
Jerry: It's Jerry. Who's this?
Valerie: Uh, it's Valerie.
Jerry: Oh, hi Valerie. What's up?
Valerie: I'll tell you what's up. My stepmother is violently ill, so I hit the button for poison control and I get you!
Jerry: Poison Control?! Wow! That's even better than number 1!
(Valerie hangs up the phone.)
Jerry: Hello?

Newman: For me, the next millennium must be Jerry-free!

Steinbrenner: I owe you an apology, body suit man. Streak on!

Jerry: Good meeting?
George: There was no meeting. But it was quite a meeting.

Jerry: Hola.
Elaine: Shove it.

George: What's a barometer exactly?
Kramer: It's pronounced thermometer.

George: Never thought I'd fail at failing.
Jerry: Oh, come on, now.
George: Feel like I can't do anything wrong.
Jerry: Nonsense. You do everything wrong.
George: Everything?
Jerry: Everything.
George: You really think so?
Jerry: Absolutely. I have no confidence in you.

George: Hey, so get this. I got a call this morning from one of the Mets' front office guys. They want to take me out to lunch.
Jerry: What for?
George: I'm on a winning ball club, Jerry. They probably want to pick my brain.
Jerry: Really, why do you think they're taking you out to lunch.
George: I have no idea.

(driving circles in the Yankee Stadium parking lot yelling on a bull horn with a trophy trailing his car)
George: Attention, Steinbrenner and front office morons! Your triumphs mean nothing! You all stink. You can sit on it... and, rotate! This is George Costanza! I fear no reprisal! Extension 5-1-7-0!!

Newman: I guess I can accept a little Jerry if it gets me a lot of Elaine.

Kramer: So Jerry, my millennium party is really coming together. Will people be able to breathe under water in the year 2000?
Jerry: Some of us.
Kramer: I don't want to exclude anybody.

Steinbrenner: Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan.

Valerie: Ready to go? I don't wanna miss the previews.
Jerry: Me neither. I love the previews. In fact I enjoy being in the theatre cut up. Last week after a preview, I yelled out 'Must miss'.
Valerie: I think that I was in that theatre. That, that was really funny.
Jerry: Yeah, it got a good laugh.

Kramer: You knew I was having a millennium party, but you just had to throw yours on the same day!

Notes and Trivia

It was originally intended to end this episode with showing the coffee shop under water in the year 2000. However, that idea was discarded due to time and budget constraints.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus was pregnant during the filming of this episode.

The idea for the Putumayo storyline came from writer Jennifer Crittenden when a rude florist refused to sell her some ribbon.

When Kramer says, "Come midnight, when she's looking for someone warm and cuddly to kiss, I guess you'll be caught between the moon and New York City," he is referring to the song "Arthur's Theme" (1981) by Christopher Cross: "If you get caught between the moon and New York City, the best that you can do is fall in love." Also, recall how Newman mentioned before that he had booked Christopher Cross for his party.

When Jerry sees that he is #1 on Valerie's speed dialer he exclaims, "Seinfeld, you magnificent bastard!" Jerry is making a reference to the 1970 film "Patton" where George C. Scott (as Patton) says, "Rommel, you magnificent bastard -- I read your book!" Jerry even managed to capture Scott's gruff tone.

Some of Jerry's exchanges with Mrs. Hamilton are a clever nod to the Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft characters in the 1967 film "The Graduate."


Although Jerry's argument regarding the true arrival of the new millennium being the year 2001 is understood and well received by the viewing audience, there is an editorial goof in how he explains it to Newman. The revelation is that Newman has scheduled his party one year too early. Yet Jerry tells him, "...Which would make your party one year late...and thus, quite lame."


Jerry SeinfeldJerry Seinfeld
Julia Louis-DreyfusElaine Benes
Michael RichardsCosmo Kramer
Jason AlexanderGeorge Costanza
Wayne KnightNewman
Richard HerdWilhelm
Lauren GrahamValerie
Louan GideonMrs. Hamilton
Victoria MahoneyGladys
Michael LaskinMinkler
Bruce JarchowMooney
Maria CinaSaleswoman
Steve KorenSteve Koren
Larry DavidGeorge Steinbrenner
Spike FerestenMan Outside Stadium (uncredited)
Gregg KavetMan Outside Stadium (uncredited)
Mitch MitchellGeorge Steinbrenner
Andy RobinMan Outside Stadium (uncredited)