S09E16 - The Burning

No: 172  |   Season: 9   Episode: 16  |   Air Date: 19-Mar-1998  |   Production #916

Well, I got gonorrhea.Well, I got gonorrhea.


George devises a new plan to end every conversation on a "high note" and "leave them wanting more". Kramer and Mickey take jobs acting out diseases for medical students. Elaine discovers that Puddy is religious, and becomes angry when she learns he doesn't care about her soul. Meanwhile, Jerry is intrigued when he learns that his current girlfriend has a secret "tractor story" she hasn't told him.

Director and Writers

Director: Andy Ackerman
Writers: Jennifer Crittenden


Jerry: You prefer dumb and lazy to religious?
Elaine: Dumb and lazy I understand.

(Mickey starts the fight with Kramer about the both of them getting gonorrhea and are fighting on the floor.)
Student: (points to Kramer) Um, cirrosis in the liver and (points to Mickey) PCP addiction.

George: Maybe she stole a tractor.
Jerry: No one steals a tractor, it a five mile-an-hour getaway!

George Costanza: Don't you even care? This is your company. It's your name on the outside of the building. Speaking of which, the "R" fell off and all it says now is K--uger.
Mr. Kruger: K-uger? That sounds like one of those old time car horns, huh? (pretends to honk a horn) K-oogah! K-oogah! (snickers)
George: Ohh! Ohh! You are too much Mr. Kruger. Too much!
Kruger: Thank you George, you've been great. (gets up and leaves on a high note)
George: What? No, no, you're not going out on a high note with me, Mr. Kruger.
Kruger: It's K-UGER!

Puddy: You stole my Jesus fish didn't you?
Elaine: That's right I'm the devil! (makes her fingers like horns and gaggles at Puddy)

Elaine: Is it a problem that I'm not really religious?
Puddy: Not for me.
Elaine: Why not?
Puddy: I'm not the one going to hell.

George: I'm against all 'It's me's'. It's so self-absorbed and egotistical, like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes.

Jerry: She said there's some tractor story that she hasn't told me about.
George: Whoa, back it up, back it up. Beep, beep, beep. Tractor story?
Jerry: Beep, beep, beep? What are you doing?

George: I had 'em Jerry. They loved me.
Jerry: And then?
George: I lost 'em. I can usually come up with one good comment during a meeting, but by the end it's buried under a pile of gaffes and bad puns.
Jerry: Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, say goodnight and walk off.

(Kramer walks in on Jerry, Geeorge, and Elaine)
Kramer: Well, I've got gonorrhea.
Elaine: That seems about right.

Sophie: My boyfriend said I got gonnorhea from riding the tractor in my bathing suit.

George: Pull the old switcheroo.
Jerry: I think that's 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander.'
George: What the hell is a gander anyway?
Jerry: It's a goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on her.

George: (going out on a high note) Alright, that's it for me! Be good everybody!

Jerry: Tractor!

George: Hey, so, did you give that radio the old switcheroo?
Elaine: I did.
George: And the Christian rock?
Elaine: Resurrected! And look what I pried off of his bumper... a Jesus fish!

Jerry: Hi, Sophie. It's me.
Sophie: Hey, Rafe.
Jerry: (to George) She thinks it's someone named Rafe.
George: Go on, go on. Let her think it.
Jerry: (disguising his voice) So, uh, what's going on?
Sophie: Not a whole lot.
George: (whispering) Ask about you! Ask about you!
Jerry: So, how are things going with Jerry?
Sophie: Oh, I really like him. But I still haven't told him the tractor story.
Jerry: Right, right, the tractor story.
Sophie: Are you sick, Rafe? You sound kinda funny.
Jerry: I sound funny?
George: (whispering) Abort! Abort!
Jerry: Yeah, I better get to a doctor. Bye.

Kramer: I'm going to make people feel my gonorrhea and feel the gonorrhea in themselves.

Mickey: Bacterial meningitis... Jackpot!
Kramer: Gonnorhea? You wanna trade?
Mickey: Sorry buddy, this is the Hamlet of diseases. Severe pain, nausea, delusions... It's got everything.

Notes and Trivia

The picture in Puddy's apartment of the large-haired women is the same one used in Elaine's apartment in "The Voice".

The idea of Elaine discovering that Puddy is religious was spawned when writer Jennifer Crittenden found her husband's car radio was tuned to a Christian rock station.

This episode was dedicated "In Memory of Our Friend Lloyd Bridges" who had died since the last new episode aired. Lloyd of course played the hilarious "it's go time" character of Izzy in last season's episode "The English Patient" and this season's "The Blood."

The episode title, "The Burning", is a reference to the 1981 slasher movie "The Burning", which starred Jason Alexander.


Puddy is leaning into the car when Elaine drives off, but immediately afterward, he is nowhere to be seen through the rear window. Clearly, stock footage was used.

When Elaine is asking Puddy if he's religious, he has his hands on the couch. However, in the next shot, his arms are at his sides.


Jerry SeinfeldJerry Seinfeld
Julia Louis-DreyfusElaine Benes
Michael RichardsCosmo Kramer
Jason AlexanderGeorge Costanza
Patrick WarburtonDavid Puddy
Danny WoodburnMickey
Daniel von BargenKruger
Cindy AmbuehlSophie
Henry WoroniczFather Curtis
Ursaline BryantDr. Wexler
Daniel Dae KimStudent #1
Alex Craig MannStudent #2
Brian PosehnArtie
Alec HollandCo-Worker #1
Suli McCulloughCo-Worker #2
Ruth CohenRuthie Cohen
Julie WagnerMedical Student (uncredited)