Seinfeld - Season 9

Stick a fork in me, Jerry. I
S09E01 The Butter Shave - 25-Sep-1997
Kramer discovers that butter is far superior to any shaving cream, but things go too far when he starts putting it on his body. George takes advantage when his new employer thinks he's handicapped. Jerry is annoyed when Kenny Bania is experiencing success by always following him. Meanwhile, Elaine has a nightmare of a return trip from a European vacation with David Puddy.

Hello-o-o-o! la la la...
S09E02 The Voice - 2-Oct-1997
The gang start using a fun, booming, jovial voice, but when Jerry's girlfriend learns that the voice is supposed to represent her stomach, she makes Jerry choose between her and the voice. Elaine bumps into David Puddy, which leads them to get back together. However, despite her best efforts to stay apart from him, every time they break up, they end up sleeping together. Kramer decides that he wastes too much time, and therefore gets an intern from NYU. Meanwhile, now that George's boss knows he isn't handicapped, the two engage in a battle of wits over whether George keeps working at Play Now.

Serenity now! Serenity now!
S09E03 The Serenity Now - 9-Oct-1997
George gets roped into selling computers with his father, who is using a strange relaxation method to control his blood pressure. Kramer has some trouble with the "neighborhood children" when he remodels the front of his apartment. Jerry's latest girlfriend helps him get in touch with his emotions. Meanwhile, Elaine's invitation to a bar mitzvah ends up being more than she bargained for.

You got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy!
S09E04 The Blood - 16-Oct-1997
Jerry has an encounter with an Exacto knife and ends up having an infusion of 3 pints of Kramer's blood infused into him because Kramer decided to store his blood. Jerry's parents buy him sessions with personal trainer, Izzy, who's going to help him work off his spare tire because they are concerned with his lack of exercise. George decides that adding television and food to his equation will make sex even better. Elaine visits her friend Vivian and is disappointed when Vivian implies that she isn't responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy, so she works overtime to prove how responsible she is.

Rain and sleet may not stop them but let
S09E05 The Junk Mail - 30-Oct-1997
Jerry's childhood friend arranges for a van as payment for one of Jerry's performances. Kramer uses the van in his campaign against mail. Elaine meets a man at the coffee shop whose charm seems too good to be true. Meanwhile, George discovers that his parents have had enough of him.

Smile, everyone! We
S09E06 The Merv Griffin Show - 6-Nov-1997
After Kramer finds the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, he begins to treat his entire life like a talk show. Jerry's new girlfriend has a priceless toy collection that she won't let him play with, with leads him to some questionable behavior. George runs over a squirrel with his car, and he's forced to spend time and money on its recovery. Elaine has to find a way to deal with a new co-worker, whose 'sidling' is both annoying and potentially dangerous to her job.

Male mammal. Approximately 30 to 60 years of age. Weight... uh indeterminate.
S09E07 The Slicer - 13-Nov-1997
Unsatisfied by the quality of commercially cut meats, Kramer buys his own meat slicer, and takes things a bit too far. Elaine can't catch a break, as her neighbor's alarm clock and cat drive her crazy. Jerry gets annoyed when the dermatologist Elaine set him up with won't stop talking about 'saving lives'. Meanwhile, George's new job is in jeopardy when a photo reminds him of a nasty confrontation he'd had with his new boss years earlier.

Goodnight, Jugdish!
S09E08 The Betrayal - 20-Nov-1997
In this unique, "backwards" episode, Jerry, George, and Elaine go to India for Sue Ellen Mishky's wedding. Meanwhile, Kramer stays behind in New York and tries to "out wish" a friend who wants him to drop dead.

Coughing? Naked? It
S09E09 The Apology - 11-Dec-1997
George is obsessed with getting an apology from an acquaintance now working on step nine of Alcoholics Anonymous. Jerry is surprised when his girlfriend spends all her time naked. Elaine is annoyed when a female coworker is turned off by her germs. Kramer has a unique solution when he discovers he's spending too much time in the shower.

Yamahama, it
S09E10 The Strike - 18-Dec-1997
An increase in the minimum wage is enough to finally meet the demands of the striking employees of H&H Bagels, and as such, Kramer announces that after 12 years, he's going back to work. Jerry meets an attractive woman at a party, but when he later tries to date her, she doesn't look nearly as good. Elaine's use of a fake phone number backfires when she loses a card that will entitle her to a free sandwich. George tries to get away with giving away fake donation cards as Christmas gifts at work, and much to his chagrin, his father decides to revive Festivus, a unique holiday he'd invented years earlier.

High five.
S09E11 The Dealership - 8-Jan-1998
Elaine's relationship problems with David Puddy could influence Jerry's ability to get an insider deal on a new car. While waiting for Jerry, George has a series of misadventures trying to get a snack. Meanwhile, Kramer takes a test drive, and attempts to see just how far the car can run with the gas gauge on empty.

I can never find anything in here.
S09E12 The Reverse Peephole - 15-Jan-1998
Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments. Elaine, who is in charge of the coats, decides to throw "Dr. Zaius" (Puddy's coat) out the window. Kramer comes to Newman's defense with the landlord. Joe Mayo has the same kind of coat that Puddy had, so he wants Elaine to replace the coat, after all she was in charge. George complains about back problems that Jerry attributes to the size of his wallet. The massage chair gets delivered to George's apartment. Wallet-less Jerry must carry all his girlfriend's stuff, when they go out on their date. Newman admits to Kramer that he is sleeping with the landlord's wife. Kramer and Newman find Puddy's coat hanging in a tree. Jerry complains about carrying all his girlfriend's stuff and Elaine tells him about Peterman's small men's carryall. "It's not a purse, it's European." Elaine decides she is out of the gift, if she has to replace the coat. George is enjoying the new chair and lies about getting the chair. Elaine finds out that Newman has Puddy's coat and she invites Newman to her apartment. Despite Elaine's come-ons, Newman won't give up the coat, he has given it to the landlord's wife. The landlord confronts Kramer, when he discovers the fur coat. Kramer says that it belongs to Jerry, because he is one of those insecure entertainers. Kramer convinces Jerry to wear the coat in front of the landlord. George continues to lie about the receiving the gift. Jerry drops out of the gift, when he finds out that Joe Mayo didn't like the music he provided at last year's party. Kramer was never in the gift, he just thought it was a good idea for a gift, he doesn't even know Joe Mayo. George will be able to return the chair, after he has the receipt in his wallet. Out on the street, George's wallet explodes. Jerry goes out on the street in the fur coat, where his "purse" is stolen and the landlord finds out the truth about the coat. Puddy gets a new coat.

So, why don
S09E13 The Cartoon - 29-Jan-1998
Elaine is obsessed with a cartoon in the New Yorker and is determined to prove that it doesn't make sense. George finds himself in "weird trouble" when he realizes that his latest girlfriend looks very similar to Jerry. Jerry's comments about how bad of an actress someone is causes him to be the subject of her entire one-woman show. Meanwhile, when Kramer says more than he should too many times, he decides never to speak again.

Hey Kramer, I dug Fredo up now let
S09E14 The Strong Box - 5-Feb-1998
Due to recent robberies in the building, Jerry refuses to let a stranger in the front door, but things get awkward when he learns that the man is his neighbour. Kramer buys a strongbox in order to safeguard his valuables, but Jerry can't help but keep finding the keys. Elaine starts dating a mysterious man who she suspects is either married or a superhero. Meanwhile, despite his numerous attempts, George's current girlfriend refuses to let him break up with her.

Vote for Kramer. Cosmo Kramer.
S09E15 The Wizard - 26-Feb-1998
Jerry gives his father an electronic organizer for his birthday. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend which triggers her curiosity. Kramer plans on running for president of Morty and Helen's condo association. George lies to the Rosses about owning a house in the Hamptons.

Well, I got gonorrhea.
S09E16 The Burning - 19-Mar-1998
George devises a new plan to end every conversation on a "high note" and "leave them wanting more". Kramer and Mickey take jobs acting out diseases for medical students. Elaine discovers that Puddy is religious, and becomes angry when she learns he doesn't care about her soul. Meanwhile, Jerry is intrigued when he learns that his current girlfriend has a secret "tractor story" she hasn't told him.

That book has been on a wild ride.
S09E17 The Bookstore - 9-Apr-1998
Jerry is disturbed when spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a book into a bookstore's bathroom, and is outraged when they force him to buy it. Kramer and Newman plan to bring rickshaws to New York. Meanwhile, Elaine embarrasses herself again at the annual Peterman party - this time by making out with a stranger.

I
S09E18 The Frogger - 23-Apr-1998
George discovers that he still has the high score on the Frogger machine in a pizza place he and Jerry used to go to in high school. Jerry goes out with a friend of Elaine's, but when he wants to break up with her, news of a serial killer in the area makes him reconsider. Meanwhile, Elaine is overwhelmed by how frequently there is an occasion to eat cake at work. When she finally refuses to partake, she ends up eating something that she shouldn't, for a variety of reasons.

It
S09E19 The Maid - 30-Apr-1998
Jerry hires a maid for his apartment, but ends up paying her for more than just cleaning. When Kramer's girlfriend moves downtown, he must deal with the difficulties of a "long distance" relationship. Elaine can't seem to catch a break when it comes to her phone number. Meanwhile, George is hoping to earn himself a catchy new nickname.

Pennypacker, if you
S09E20 The Puerto Rican Day - 7-May-1998
The gang drive from a bad Mets game when they get caught in traffic due to the annual Puerto Rican Day Parade, they go their four ways and encounter odd happenings; Jerry begins a rivalry with a man in a Maroon Golf Car, George sneaks into a cinema in the hopes of yelling out a one-liner during a climatic moment and Kramer pretends to be a tenant in an apartment to use the bathroom. Elaine tries to escape the madness by several means but fails. In the end; Jerry's car is trashed when Kramer burns the Puerto Rican Flag by accident and the gang walks home.

It seems like every week a whole new set of problems would crop up out of nowhere, except for summer, when nothing seemed to happen for months at a time.
S09E21 The Chronicle (Part 1) - 14-May-1998
Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to a movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories from the show.

I hope you had the time of your life.
S09E22 The Chronicle (Part 2) - 14-May-1998
More clips are seen and finally the closing minutes feature a series of bloopers and a musical montage that features the song "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by the band Green Day, from their 1997 album Nimrod.

There
S09E23 The Finale (Part 1) - 14-May-1998
The new president of NBC calls a meeting with Jerry and George and offers them a series based on the pilot "Jerry". On their way to a celebratory trip to Paris, NBC jet needs to make an emergency landing in Latham, Massachusetts. While there, the gang stands idly by during a carjacking and is arrested on a new "Good Samaritan Law".

We could put on a show, maybe
S09E24 The Finale (Part 2) - 14-May-1998
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer stand trial, defended by Jackie Chiles. Character witnesses are called from the show's nine seasons, and the four are sentenced to a year in prison.