Summary
Kramer enters a hot dog eating competition while George acts as his coach. Jerry can’t get an Uber because he didn’t tip well enough. Elaine binge watches the “House of the Dragon” series when she was supposed to watch it together with her boyfriend David Puddy.
Script: The Binge
[Int. Jerry’s Apartment]
(Jerry is pacing around, frustrated, as he is using an app on his phone. George is on the couch, eating chips and watching TV. Elaine enters and plops down on the couch next to George.)
Elaine: Hey boy-os. What’s up?
Jerry: (exasperated) I need to go downtown but I can’t get an Uber to pick me up because I mis-tipped the last ride I took.
Elaine: Mis-tipped?
Jerry: I wasn’t paying attention and I clicked the button for a real low tip. Now no car wants to pick me up.
Elaine: Well Jerry. You gotta tip.
(George raises an eyebrow at Elaine and mumbles while munching on chips.)
George: Tipping is out of control in our society. You have to tip before you get service? No way.
(Kramer bursts in, a wild glint in his eyes.)
Kramer: You won’t believe what I just signed up for!
Jerry: (sighs) What crazy scheme have you gotten yourself into now, Kramer?
Kramer: I’ve entered the Nathan’s hot dog eating competition at Coney Island!
(Jerry and George exchange incredulous glances.)
George: You? In a hot dog eating contest?
Kramer: That’s right, buddy. Bob Sacamano has a hot dog cart down by Battery Park, and I’ve been down there training for weeks. I’m pretty good! I’ve got a strategy and everything.
(Elaine looks up, intrigued.)
Elaine: You’re actually serious about this, Kramer?
Kramer: Deadly serious. And George here is gonna be my coach.
George: (choking on his chips) Me? Why me?
Kramer: Because you’ve got that strategic mind, George. You know how to game the system. You’re the perfect coach.
(George seems somewhat flattered but mostly burdened by the responsibility.)
Elaine: Kramer, how are you gonna beat that Joey Chestnut? Doesn’t he always win that contest?
Kramer: (confidently) Well, Chestnut hasn’t met Kramer yet. Has he?
Jerry: This, I have to see.
[Montage]
(Cut to a training montage with Kramer and George. George is trying to teach Kramer how to eat hot dogs efficiently while Kramer enthusiastically messes up every technique.)
[Int. Elaine’s Apartment]
(Elaine is engrossed in watching the “House of the Dragon” series on her laptop, binging it alone. Her phone rings and she reluctantly pauses the show to answer.)
Elaine: (annoyed) What now?
Puddy: Hey, babe. I can come over tonight so we can watch the House of the Dragon episodes together.
Elaine: Oh, right. Umm, yeah come over tonight.
Puddy: (excited) We’ve been waiting for this for months. I can’t wait.
Elaine: I know, I know. (faking) I’m so excited for it!
(Elaine hangs up and un-pauses the screen.)
Elaine: This is too good to wait.
[Ext. Nathan’s at Coney Island, Day]
(The crowd is buzzing with excitement. George and Newman are in the audience, waiting for the contest to start.)
Newman: Is he ready?
George: (nervous) If he follows my instructions, he might stand a chance.
(George’s phone rings)
Jerry: (on the phone) George, I can’t get there! I requested an Uber, but they keep taking my ride request and then cancelling it.
George: (shakes fist) Tipping Nazis!!
(Just then Kramer is introduced along with he other contestants. The competition begins, and Kramer’s technique is a mess. He’s shoving hot dogs in his mouth at an alarming pace, but most of them end up on his shirt.)
George: Oh my god, he’s a disaster!
Newman: Of course, he is. I know binge eating and I knew he wasn’t ready for this.
(George is frantically shouting instructions from the sidelines.)
George: Chew, Kramer, chew! You’ve gotta chew!
(Kramer attempts to chew but accidentally spits chewed-up hot dog bits onto the table in front of him. The crowd roars with laughter.)
[Int. Jerry’s Apartment, Evening]
Jerry: So how did the contest turn out?
George: I don’t want to talk about it. Joey Chestnut won.
Jerry: Oh, that’s nice. He’s the champ.
(Kramer enters, disheveled and defeated.)
Kramer: I can’t believe it, guys. I was a total flop.
George: Well, you did manage to eat one hot dog, Kramer. That’s something, right?
Kramer: Yeah, but I wanted to win, George. I wanted to make a statement.
(Elaine enters, looking downcast as well.)
Elaine: I messed up.
Jerry: What did you do?
Elaine: I couldn’t resist and watched the entire House of the Dragon without Puddy. When he came over to watch it with me I started telling him how great the series was. He stormed out.
Jerry: You promised him!
Elaine: I know, I know. He’s really mad. Now, I promised to watch Succession with him.
Jerry: I hear it’s good.
Elaine: You haven’t seen it?
Jerry: No, I don’t watch that crap.
(The door buzzer rings, and Jerry answers it to find his neighbor, Newman.)
Jerry: Hello Newman.
Newman: (Ignores Jerry) Kramer, I am sorry about your trouble at Nathan’s.
Kramer: I was horrible!
Newman: Kramer my friend, this is your lucky day. I will coach you. Nathan’s is having another hot dog eating contest next week and you will win that contest.
Jerry: (rolls eyes) Oh brother.
George: How do you know Nathan’s is having another contest? They never have two contests?
Newman: (grins) I’m a preferred customer.
[Montage]
(Cut to another training montage with Kramer and Newman. Newman is teaching Kramer the technique of using water to wet the bun and swallow the hot dogs easier.)
[Ext. Nathan’s at Coney Island, Day]
(Kramer is back on stage, looking confident and determined. Newman is by his side, encouraging him. George is watching from the crowd.]
Newman: Pace yourself, Kramer! Remember the techniques!
George: I don’t believe we’re doing this again.
(George’s phone rings)
Jerry: (on the phone) George, I can’t catch an Uber. Can you call an Uber for me from your phone?
George: (sighs) You’ll pay me back?
Jerry: Yes, I will pay you back.
(George operates his phone and summons an Uber for Jerry)
(The contest starts and Kramer’s technique is vastly improved. He’s actually managing to eat hot dogs without making a mess, and the crowd is surprised.)
George: He’s actually doing it!
(As the competition progresses, Kramer’s hot dog count starts to rise. He’s catching up to the leaders. Then, suddenly Kramer begins to choke on a hot dog.)
Newman: He’s choking! Somebody help him!
[Int. Monk’s Cafe, Early Evening]
(Jerry and Elaine are sitting together having supper)
Jerry: So did you make up with Puddy?
Elaine: I tried to. I waited to watch Succession with him and he called me to say he watched it with his neighbor…. someone named Meagan.
Jerry: Are you jealous?
Elaine: Meh…
Jerry: Are you going to watch Succession?
Elaine: Meh…
(Kramer and George walk into the Diner and sit down in the same booth)
Jerry: Hey George. That Uber you called for me never arrived.
George: I guess you really need to tip those drivers, don’t you.
(Jerry scowls)
Jerry: So Kramer, how did the contest go this time around?
Kramer: Not good… there was an incident.
George: (explaining) Kramer was doing great… and then he choked on a hot dog.
Elaine: Oh my god Kramer! Are you okay?
Kramer: Well, I was bent over choking and I could not breathe. I thought I was a goner. Then Joey Chestnut came over and gave me the Heimlich procedure. Shot that hot dog right outta there. (Makes an outward motion with his hand)
George: You should have seen it. Chestnut saved his life!
Elaine: Sorry you didn’t win Kramer.
Jerry: (sipping coffee) So who won?
George: Joey Chestnut. After he saved Kramer’s life he went back to eating hot dogs.
Jerry: Well, that’s why he’s the champ.
