Summary
Script: The Roadie
[Scene: Jerry’s Apartment]
Jerry: (sitting on the couch, talking on the phone) Yeah, I need four tickets for the Taylor Swift concert. No, not for me, for my friends. (pauses) No, not the ones in the nosebleed section. They need to be good seats. (pauses) Excellent. Thanks.
Elaine: (entering) Taylor Swift? Seriously, Jerry? I can’t stand her music. It’s like a bunch of kittens got a hold of a keyboard.
Jerry: (smirking) Oh, come on, Elaine. She’s a phenomenon. Everyone loves her.
Elaine: Not everyone.
[Cut to Scene: Monk’s Café]
Jerry: (sitting across from George) So, I got the Taylor Swift tickets. Good seats, too.
George: (rubbing his hands together) Ah, perfect! I’ve been needing some extra cash lately. I’m gonna scalp my ticket and make a killing.
Jerry: (raising an eyebrow) You’re not even going to the concert?
George: Nah, Taylor Swift’s not my thing. But desperate fans are my thing.
[Scene: Kramer bursts into Jerry’s apartment, waving a radio]
Kramer: (excitedly) Jerry, you won’t believe what just happened! I won a contest on the radio!
Jerry: (looking intrigued) What kind of contest?
Kramer: (beaming) I’m gonna be Taylor Swift’s Roadie for a Day!
Jerry: (astonished) You? A roadie?
Kramer: (nodding) That’s right, buddy! I’ll be handling her guitars, tuning her strings, living the rockstar life!
Elaine: (rolling her eyes) Oh, great. More Taylor Swift madness.
Kramer: (ignoring Elaine) This is my chance to be in the music business, Jerry. I’ve got the ear for it. The other day, I rearranged my spice rack to sound like a symphony.
George: That’s great Kramer. So, I get to scalp his ticket. Right?
[Cut to Scene: Kramer backstage at the Taylor Swift concert]
Kramer: (wearing a roadie vest, talking to Taylor Swift’s manager) So, where do you want me to start? Tuning the guitars? Setting up the amps?
Manager: (confused) Who are you again?
Kramer: (proudly) I’m Kramer, the Roadie for a Day! Ready to rock ‘n’ roll!
Manager: (skeptical) Uh, okay. How about you start by bringing Taylor her water?
[Kramer grabs a water bottle, but in his excitement, he accidentally squirts water all over Taylor Swift’s dress.]
Taylor Swift: (annoyed) Are you kidding me?
Kramer: (nervous) Oops, sorry about that. Just a little hydration mishap.
[Scene: Concert begins, Jerry, Elaine, and George in their seats]
Jerry: (looking around) This place is packed. And look at all those Taylor Swift fans!
Elaine: (grimacing) Ugh, I don’t get what’s so great about her. Her songs are like cotton candy for the ears.
Jerry: At least you showed up. George is outside scalping Kramer’s ticket.
Elaine: Can someone seriously sell a ticket once the concert has started?
Jerry: Yes, when you’re motivated to make some cash like George.
[Cut to Scene: Backstage chaos during the concert]
Kramer: (trying to adjust a microphone stand, accidentally knocking it over) Whoopsie daisy! Those things are more temperamental than my oven.
Manager: (frustrated) Kramer, just stay out of the way! And whatever you do, do not touch anything else.
[Kramer nods enthusiastically, but as he backs away, he bumps into a table, causing a stack of flyers to fly into the air and scatter all over the backstage area.]
Kramer: (sheepishly) Looks like I’ve given those flyers some airplay.
[Scene: Concert continues, Jerry, Elaine, and George enjoying the show]
Jerry: (nodding to the stage) You have to admit, Elaine, Taylor Swift knows how to put on a show.
Elaine: (rolling her eyes) I guess, if you’re into sparkly dresses and catchy tunes.
George: (arriving at his seat, counting money) Cha-ching! Sold the ticket for triple the price!
Elaine: (scoffing) I still can’t believe you’re not enjoying this, George.
George: (smirking) Enjoying? I’m profiting.
Meanwhile, an excited young woman shows up at Kramer’s seat next to Jerry and begins to shriek at the top of her lungs.
Jerry: Oh, Moses smell the roses.
[Cut to Scene: Backstage, chaos escalates]
Kramer: (holding a stack of cords) Hey, which one of these do you think is the guitar cable?
Sound Engineer: (exasperated) Are you serious? The guitar cable is the one with the big label that says “GUITAR CABLE.”
[Kramer nods and proceeds to yank out the wrong cable, causing Taylor Swift’s guitar to go silent mid-performance.]
Taylor Swift: (livid, glaring at Kramer) Who let this guy back here?!
[Scene: Concert hall, the music abruptly stops]
Jerry: (bewildered) What just happened?
Elaine: (sarcastically) Maybe Kramer rearranged the cords to play a concerto.
George: (chuckling) Looks like he’s making his mark on the music world.
[Cut to Scene: Backstage chaos reaches its peak]
Manager: (yelling at Kramer) You are the worst roadie ever! Get out of here!
Kramer: (defensively) Hey, I’m just bringing my own brand of energy to the stage!
[Taylor Swift’s security escorts Kramer out of the backstage area.]
[Scene: After the concert, back at Jerry’s apartment]
Jerry: (laughing) So, Kramer, how was your day as a roadie?
Kramer: (grinning) It was a wild ride, Jerry. I might’ve made a few missteps, but you know, I left an impression.
Elaine: (walking in) Well, I’m glad that’s over. Taylor Swift’s music gives me a headache.
George: (counting his money) And I made a killing from scalping Kramer’s ticket. It’s a win-win.
Kramer: I get a cut of that, right?
Jerry: (smirking) You know, George, you and Kramer should team up. He can provide the chaos, and you can provide the profit.
Elaine: (rolling her eyes) I still don’t get the Taylor Swift hype.
Jerry: (smirking) Well, not everyone can appreciate the genius of kittens on a keyboard.
[The friends share a laugh as the curtain falls on another eventful day in their lives.]
[End]
